


beginning not end

by halfwheeze



Series: Winteriron Bingo 2019 (Round 1) [14]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, Friends to benefits to lovers, M/M, Masturbation, Pining While Actively Fucking, Smut, Steve is briefly there, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Tony Stark, Vibrators, vague college AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 07:43:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18795982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfwheeze/pseuds/halfwheeze
Summary: Tony may need... a little help. Who better to call in than Bucky Barnes, right? They're friends, it totally won't be awkward. Even if Tony has a crush on him. Haha. Yeah. Totally.





	beginning not end

**Author's Note:**

> This is an anonymous commission, but one I am grateful for all the same! Thank you to my commissioner. 
> 
> This is also for Winteriron Bingo Prompt G1: Height Difference!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“So, this is going to sound really weird,” Tony says into his phone, already cringing because he thinks that Bucky is going to say no. He pulls the mask of confidence over himself like he always does, steadying his ragged breathing and waiting for Bucky to even confirm that he’s on the other end of the call. 

“Well, hello to you to, Mister Stark. And how are you doin’ tonight?” Bucky asks, the swoop of Brooklyn lulling into his voice and stealing some of his consonants in a way that puts Tony immediately at ease. Tony breathes out slowly before he speaks. 

“I need you to come over here and fuck me,” Tony admits all together, which is much less smooth than he’d like to be. Actually, that’s a fucking disaster compared to how he’d like to be! He imagined himself being all kinds of smooth, convincing Bucky to come over because  _ Bucky  _ wants  _ him,  _ not the other way around, but… that’s a little ruined now. It’s fine. Bucky is laughing at him and Tony can feel himself getting less turned on by the second (something that was  _ not  _ a problem at the beginning of this call), but it’s fine. 

There’s likely a question of why he’s asking Barnes at all; he has other friends, closer friends, but maybe that’s the problem. He can’t ask Pepper - he’s been there, done that, got the t-shirt, thank you very much, and he doesn’t want to jeopardize their friendship like that again, can’t really afford to. Asking Rhodey would be super weird, especially seeing as his best friend isn’t even in the city at the moment, but even if he was… Tony loves Rhodey, but maybe not like that. Asking Steve would lead to some lecture about taking care of himself because Tony  _ has  _ been neglecting this part of himself lately, but he doesn’t want to think about it and - the rasping of Bucky’s voice draws him back in. 

“I mean, shit, Tony. You still live in the apartment on third?” Bucky asks, which is not exactly what Tony had expected to hear. 

“Yeah,” he confirms, choking on his own spit. His hand goes naturally between his legs as a pulse of arousal goes through him; so immediately after the laughter, the eagerness makes Tony’s mouth both extremely dry and feel as if he’s actively salivating. He wonders how fast Bucky can get here. 

“I can be on my way in ten minutes, I just gotta kick Stevie out, and I swear, I’m there,” Bucky rambles, and Tony hears Steve Rogers complain in the background, giving Bucky a hard time. The obvious prioritizing on Bucky’s part makes blood rise to Tony’s face despite the fact that he’s had his hand down his pants, vibrator against his cock for at least thirty minutes before he started getting desperate. He's tried a truly embarrassing amount of things before screwing up the courage to actually call in the big guns. Bucky Barnes can still make him blush when he’s just asked a man he’s never had sex with to come over to fuck him for the first time with no previous discussion of anything even of a romantic nature, let alone sexual. 

He’s about to be so fucked, and in all of the unfun ways as well as the fun ways. He’s seen Barnes’s cock before, and  _ goddamn.  _ There’s also practically international rumors about the guy’s mouth, but… Tony doesn’t want to make assumptions. 

“How you doin’, Tones? You okay, baby?” Bucky asks among the shuffle of what sounds like shrugging a hoodie over his head, maybe, for how something sticks around his microphone until he settles himself. Tony realises how hard his breaths are coming, the pressure of the vibrator harder against his cock, and realises that Barnes is turning him on so much more than porn by just fucking breathing. That could be a problem. 

“Just… gettin’ started without you, Barnes,” Tony admits, his breathing hitching between words as he leans back against the pillows, his wrist aching from the angle but not enough to stop. He likes the dark purr of Bucky’s reaction as the other man groans, low but tight, and Tony wants to swallow that noise, wants it inside of himself. 

“Fuck, Tony, you playin’ with yourself while on the phone with me? You gonna get yourself open for me? I wanna touch you so bad, I gotta say, you’re so fuckin’ pretty to look at. Your  _ hands,” _ Bucky pauses in his litany of perfect words, caught up in just the idea of something so simple about Tony that he never even thinks about his hands in that fashion. He loves his hands, yes, because they’re the only part of himself that are truly reminiscent of his father, heavy and tinged with the burn scars common to men who work like they do, but he’s never thought of them like Bucky seems to have. 

“How much have you thought about me before, Barnes?” Tony asks, inflecting a tone of innocence that certainly doesn’t fit the conversation, but it just makes Barnes breathe harder, get more caught up in the conversation of it all. “You think about me a lot? Jack it in the shower with the thought of me on my knees? What do you think about?” 

“You, it’s been you for a couple of months, Tony, fuck,” Bucky admits all at once, and Tony feels himself pulse again. 

“Barnes, you better get here right the fuck now,” Tony demands despite the fact that he knows that Barnes lives at least ten minutes away and still hasn’t left yet. The other man owns a motorcycle, a roaring thing that he always looks sexy as fuck on when he winks at Tony as he pops a wheelie on his way by, so he’d definitely know if Buck was on his way. As it is, however, he’s not. 

“I’m having a protein shake before I come fuck your shit up, sue me,” Bucky says, breaking the tension as they both dissolve into giggles. That’s half of the fun with Barnes, Tony thinks. He’s funny as well as hot, and he’s smart and curious and just so  _ fun  _ to be around that Tony can hardly stand it, and that’s probably why Tony has never bedded him before. People always leave after hopping into bed with Tony, and he’s never wanted Barnes to walk his way out the door. 

“We still gonna be friends if you come over? Because I know what’s more important to me,” Tony says, a near whisper as the admittance slips past his lips. He doesn’t want to show Bucky  _ all  _ his cards, after all, even if Bucky just admitted to wanting him and him alone for at least two months. Tony doesn’t take risks. Barnes sobers over the line. 

“If you only wanna be friends after, that’s good with me. Whatever’s good with you, Tony,” Bucky says, though his tone is something that Tony doesn’t want, something that Tony doesn’t like at all. 

“Do you want to be… something else?” Tony asks, willing the hope not to shine through his voice like the sun through paper thin fabric, but it does, he sounds so fucking hopeful he can’t even hope to hide it. The noise that Barnes makes, just as affected and hopeful as Tony’s own voice, just sounds like a promise. 

“We’ll figure it out, baby. We’ll be okay. I’m about to leave, so you don’t get too far along without me, you got it?” Bucky says, the line clicking off before Tony even replies. That’s alright - the only reply that Tony had in him was some gasping about being told what to do and how that’s actually kinda hot, and that’s nobody’s business. Bucky’s voice was clipped at the end, a command rather than a suggestion, which was… an experience. Tony pulls himself out of his analysis of the end of their phone call with the reminder that he’s going to have to let Bucky into his apartment, which means he’ll have to get up.

He can’t walk around with a vibrator inside of him; as much porn as he’s read about it (the sheer  _ amount  _ of fics written about people engaged in sex acts in public alone), he just doesn’t like the feeling of it, and it kinda hurts if he doesn’t walk a painfully specific way. He stands and puts the vibrator back in the box from whence it came, an ornate storage place that makes it look like it holds something violently more important than Tony’s small collection of sex toys and other accoutrements. There’s a set of handcuffs in there, but that’s not something he should bring up with Bucky until at least the second date.

Dates. Shit. 

Bucky is probably joking about wanting more with Tony. People don’t want  _ more  _ with Tony, don’t want to take him out on dates, don’t want to hold his hand, don’t want to deal with his eccentricities and pretend that they care enough about him to corral him into caring for himself, no one wants that, least of all Bucky. Bucky, who is God’s perfect Pisces, Bucky, who has a sense of humor that makes Tony laugh more than anything, Bucky, a mechanic with hands like a god. There’s no way that Bucky wants more from Tony Stark, and even if he does, he’ll probably figure out that that’s a mistake pretty quickly. 

At least Bucky already knows he’s trans; that’s created an awkward sexual situation for Tony before. Tony doesn’t apologize for who he is in that capacity, sends trans memes to his mostly-cis groupchat (he, Natasha, Clint and Bruce are all trans, but that’s it, and Nat and Bruce are both nonbinary, not binary trans, so even some of those aren’t quite accurate for anyone but him and Clint), and has been out for a long, long time. He picked out his new name when he was five years old, for fuck’s sake, he doesn’t have time to be shamed for his gender identity or really anything else. 

Okay, wow, this is not the thought process he wants to be on right now. 

“Okay. Shit. Okay,” he mutters to himself as he walks across his apartment ass naked because he’s an adult and he lives alone and it’s fine. Actually, if someone is going to be coming over, the least Tony can do is throw on a shirt and a pair of boxers, which he does messily enough that he’s about eighty percent sure that his shirt is backwards, but it’s fine. Straightening up is a bit of a priority, and he doesn’t realise he’s been stress cleaning for over ten minutes until the apartment buzzer goes off. 

“Tony?” Bucky’s voice asks over the static crackle, to which Tony feels both like tension is draining out of him and quite like his spine is made entirely of steel. 

“Come on up,” he says to Barnes, his voice thankfully not cracking, and buzzes the other man up. 

He’s going to actively have an anxiety attack because he asked a friend to come over for a booty call, huh. 

The knock on the door pulls Tony out of himself just like the buzzer did, and Tony opens the door with his usual facsimile of a smile that he gives journalists when they want to interview the late Howard Stark’s son. Bucky gives him an actual smile and steps into the apartment, stepping into Tony’s space and putting a kiss on his nose before wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist. The angle forces Tony to put his arms around Bucky’s neck if he wants to hug the man back, which means that Tony has to stretch up onto his toes, given that Bucky is six inches taller than him. Tony feels emotionally steadier as Bucky physically steadies him, the hug lasting for at least ten seconds. He didn’t even realise that Barnes had closed the door, but it’s convenient, so Tony doesn’t question it. 

“You freakin’ out?” Barnes asks, resting his forehead against Tony’s carefully and looking at him in a fond way that makes Tony’s stomach flutter. He’s still on his toes but Bucky is meeting him in the middle, slouching over a little as he pulls Tony up and keeps him steady, so steady. Tony gives him a looser smile than before. 

“A little bit,” he admits, moving to hide his face against Bucky’s shoulder, cold metal settling him more than anything else. If there is a metal shoulder, one with a  _ Stark Industries  _ logo that Tony trusts from having his own hands in it, that means it can only be Bucky Barnes, and that means Tony is safe. 

“You still want this?” Bucky rasps, his voice directly in Tony’s ear in a way that gives Tony a full body shiver that he can’t repress. He nods in confirmation and hangs off of Bucky anyway, not wanting to remove himself from this warmth that he’s found, this unlikely safety that he can’t help being obsessed with. He feels Bucky smile against his throat as the other man presses closer. Hands make their way further around him, the wrapping warmth encroaching more upon Tony’s person, and it’s enough to make a boy feel like he’s made of spun glass, really, like he’s enough to take care of. 

“I still want you,” Tony confirms aloud, late and nervous, but he doesn’t startle when Bucky pulls away. Instead, he allows it with retracting hands, stepping out of Bucky’s space and looking up at his eyes. The boyish smile is still there where Tony left it, the three day old facial scruff leaving shadows beneath high cheekbones, bright, piercing eyes softened with fondness and maybe just a bit of laughter. Bucky is one of the most beautiful people that Tony has ever seen in his life, and it still manages to take his breath away. 

“I’m gonna kiss you. That okay?” Bucky asks, tilting Tony’s chin up with a metal thumb that feels thankfully cold against Tony’s skin. Tony moves just so slightly as to nod. Bucky’s hands move to cup Tony’s jaw carefully, dipping downward to let their lips meet ever so softly, the most chaste kiss that Tony thinks he’s ever had. It turns into something warmer, something with a hell of a lot more intimacy as Bucky presses closer, metal hand migrating from Tony’s face down to his side, holding onto the flesh there like a handle. There’s a sense of possession there that makes the breath in Tony’s lungs force its way out. 

They’ve been kissing for maybe a minute when Tony pulls away. He can’t afford to get too invested in this, not when he knows that Bucky will change his mind about a future for them eventually. 

“Shirt off,” he commands with more confidence than he feels, to which Bucky graces him with an indulgent smile. Tony’s about to roll his eyes when Bucky’s thumbs hook under his shirt, pulling it off and revealing the washboard abs that Tony knew, logically, were to be found there, but looking at them and knowing he can touch is a whole different beast. He reaches out a hand without being able to stop himself, fingers glancing across Bucky’s well defined chest. Bucky gives him a grin quite more preditory than the last, raised eyebrows accompanying it readily. 

“You too, Tony. Let’s get you undressed,” Bucky says, giving Tony’s shirt the same treatment as his own before Tony can even reach to take it off himself. There’s a moment where Tony is all anxiety, all shaking at the idea of Bucky seeing his mess of scars, but it’s immediately assuaged by the fact that Bucky is kissing him again before he can even look for too long. He barely realises that Bucky is touching his chest at all before it feels like his entire body is a live wire, feeling everything at once. 

Tony's breath stops in his chest as Bucky's thumbs run over the surgical scars on his chest, both the ones from top surgery and the ones from the car crash that happened so long ago. Bucky gives them equal attention with a sort of reverence that gives Tony pause in the softest way, in a way that doesn't taste of anxiety but rather of a sort of care that Tony doesn't know if he's ready for, even if Bucky is ready to give it. The other man seems to sense Tony's inhibitions, moving away from the scar tissue and down to the squared abdominal muscles that Tony has worked hard for, catching the nail of his flesh thumb on each ridge of muscle. Tony may very well find out that he has more erogenous zones than he thinks if this thing with Bucky Barnes continues to happen. 

"Bucky," he whispers as the man reaches the arch of his hips, a sensitive zone that Tony had already known about, but which reacts more with the heavy touch of Bucky's calloused hands than anyone's before him. For a moment, Tony allows himself to imagine that there will be no one's marks on his skin after Bucky, but that's wishful thinking. Who knows how long this will last? 

"You doin' alright, darlin'?" Tony nods immediately, not trusting himself to say anything except Bucky’s name and some embarrassing pleas. His cock is pulsing and he feels where his boxers are nearly soaked through, and he needs Bucky a lot more than he’d like to admit. Bucky seems to take pity on him as he begins to lead Tony to his own bedroom, abandoning their shirts in the living room and closing the distance between the two of them and a flat surface. He presses Tony against the wall of the hallway on the way, soft kisses spreading across his entire face before something more claiming happens between their two mouths, something that makes Tony feel safe and on the edge of something uneasy at the same time. 

“Bed,” Tony suggests before Bucky can get much further, though the other man is already inspiring embarrassing noises with a thigh between Tony’s and a mark sucked onto Tony’s throat. Bucky makes a gesture of picking him up and Tony goes willingly, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s shoulders and his legs around Bucky’s waist, suddenly thankful for the leg days that Natasha had been so insistent upon. Bucky grabs onto his ass and Tony holds back a moan that should probably be explored later, but that’s not what he’s looking for right now. He’s looking for the way that Bucky tosses him onto the bed like a rag doll, moving to the bedside table instead of following him onto it. 

“Where do you keep your condoms? Do you keep lube, baby? I want this to be good for you,” Bucky asks, his voice much softer than the still-wearing-jeans, washboard-abs, big-hands, gonna-fuck-you-up persona that his appearance gives off. Tony holds back a ridiculous giggle, though Bucky still seems to hear it. 

“It’s - ah - it’s nothing. Condoms and lube are in the bottom drawer, lock code is 1701,” he answers, relaxing back into the pillows. He’s ignoring the part of his brain that’s telling him that he’s not taken off his boxers because Bucky hasn’t told him to, the part that makes fun of him for being submissive, because  _ damn it,  _ he wants to be good. Even if Bucky hasn’t given off the energy of wanting to dominate Tony in that whole fashion, there will always be something in Tony that wants that kind of thing, he thinks. 

“Hey, you’re tensin’ up again, honey. What made you laugh a second ago? Tell me about it,” Bucky requests, dropping the lube and condoms on the bed beside Tony. Tony gives a smile and bites his lip. 

“The whole baby-darlin-honey sweet voice. You still have jeans and boots on, and you’re fucking shredded as all hell, but you sound… like a marshmallow,” Tony attempts to explain, enamoured with the fond curve of Bucky’s smile as he looks down at Tony like he hung the moon himself. Tony watches with sharp eyes as Bucky unlaces his boots with a smile, giving Tony some of the most intense bedroom eyes he’s ever been on the receiving end of. He likes the way that Bucky still looks like he’s a second away from laughter, even when they’re about to fuck. 

“Wanna help me out of the jeans or you want me to get them myself?” Bucky teases, the amusement sparking into a sort of challenge that Tony can’t even imagine turning down. He makes a show of pulling himself away from the pillows, flopping forward until he has to steady himself with hands at Bucky’s hips to avoid falling directly out of his own bed. He unfastens Bucky’s jeans and pulls down the zip, letting himself rub down the length of Bucky’s dick just a bit. He revels in the way that it makes Bucky just a little short of breath, revels in how Bucky’s hand hovers behind his head, like he wants to push him down. 

“Something you want me to do?” he asks, looking up at Bucky through his lashes as he pulls the jeans down to Bucky’s thighs, letting gravity take them the rest of the way down. Bucky hesitates for a moment before shaking his head, once in a way that constitutes communication and again in a way that’s more like he’s clearing himself. 

“This is about you, darlin’. Lay back,” Bucky says. Tony gives a fake little pout before he follows instructions (he still doesn’t tell himself that it’s a sexual thing, that), sinking into the pillows and letting himself get lost in the motions of Bucky’s movements. The other man climbs between Tony’s knees with ease, kissing him once and then down his body all over again, careful and caring, and yet with so much levity that it feels not like some severe thing, but something that’s more for fun than anything else. The juxtaposition between the care and the frivolity makes Tony feel as if he’s aching. 

He doesn’t think about it too much, just arches into Bucky’s hands and mouth as the other man strokes his cock through his boxers, a fingertip dipping down to press against his hole through the fabric. He lifts his hips to let Bucky drag his boxers off of him and kisses Bucky again when he leans up, just in the range for Tony to catch him softly by his hair and drag him in. Bucky lets him have what he wants, gives it to him like he wants it just as much and leans Tony back into the pillows again, kissing him deeply before pulling back like he’s giving something up to go somewhere else. 

If he doesn’t think about what people usually want from him, Tony might believe in all of the care, in all of the softness, in all of the thing he might call love. 

Bucky whispers to him while kissing him open, holding onto his thighs with steadfast hands that don’t dig in too hard, and he says things that make Tony feel more than he’d like to say. 

“So pretty, so good for me, so hot down here, Tony, I would stay here forever if you’d let me,” Bucky mumbles a running commentary as he sucks along Tony’s cock, a finger dipping into his hole before pressing deeper, burning into Tony in such a good way that Tony keens. He’s never felt a single finger so deeply before, never ached so badly for someone, and he feels like he’s going to shake apart. 

When there’s the cold feeling of lube and another finger, Tony arches off of the bed and pulls Bucky in closer with his legs, trapping the man between his thighs. Bucky gives a peel of laughter that Tony can feel against him, making him shiver with it. This reaction garners the notice of the other man, a raised eyebrow the only answer to it before Bucky is taking Tony’s cock between his lips again, humming around it. A third finger makes its way inside of Tony and he rolls his hips downward. 

“You think you’re ready, Tones?” Bucky asks, gravel tone right next to Tony’s ear as the man has climbed up his body again. Tony takes his mouth in a kiss and tastes himself on Bucky’s lips, strange and dirty, and finds that he doesn’t quite mind it. 

“Fuck me, Barnes,” Tony says harshly, his voice ragged with the noises he’d barely realised he’d been making for the past minutes, completely out of his mind with sensations. Bucky gives him a wicked grin and pulls off of him to roll on a condom, rubbing some lube onto himself before maneuvering himself to be between Tony’s legs once more. The part of himself that Tony likes to ignore tells him that that might just be where James Buchanan Barnes belongs, but that’s neither here nor there. He’s not really thinking anything in the next moment or so anyway. 

Bucky fucks into him with slow strokes, careful with him in a way that he doesn't think anyone has any right to be. There are hands on his hips, yes, holding him in and holding him relatively still, but they do not take the bruising tone so common in Tony's former lovers, something so common that Tony had long ago stopped questioning it. Instead, Bucky presses kisses down the side of Tony's face, one of his hands stroking upwards from his hip as if to comfort quarrels that Tony hasn't even thought to bring rise of yet, and there's something so emotional in this that Tony wants to cry. Instead, he buries his face in Bucky's throat, pressing down kisses of his own and biting into Bucky's collarbones, leaving marks of himself there for a while. 

He cages Bucky between his thighs and pulls the other man in on his already forceful, even strokes, and delights in himself as he watches the other man shake apart. Bucky pulls his hands off of Tony’s hips before taking Tony’s wrists and pinning them to the bed, creating a leverage as he fucks into Tony deep and rough, quick strokes making Tony feel like he’s going to come any second. Bucky drops one of his wrists to rub against Tony’s cock and with that, the Stark heir is completely gone. He barely notices Bucky coming inside of the condom inside of him before Bucky’s already pulling out, tying up the condom and throwing it into a waste basket, slouching onto the mattress beside Tony. 

“I have a huge crush on you, you know,” Bucky admits in the post-coital silence, to which Tony does the obviously most sexy thing he can think of and chokes on his own spit. He has to sit up for how hard he’s coughing and Bucky sits up with him, patting him on the back and making sure he doesn’t, maybe, die or something. 

“Give a guy a little warning, Buckaboo, goddamn,” Tony coughs out. He catches the exasperated look that Barnes gives him, and raises an eyebrow right back. 

“You think that giving a guy the best time of his life isn’t a little warning?” Bucky challenges, smug overconfidence making Tony wanna challenge him right back, even if he is right. 

“You think that’s the best I’ve ever had, soldier?” he asks, getting back into Bucky’s face with a quickness. Bucky gives him the smile of a shark. 

“Why? Want me to try to give you somethin’ better?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought!


End file.
